Why having kids is a drain on your crypto portfolio

Kids. Why do we have kids? They're stinky, annoying, un-grateful little ****s and its no joke that numerous studies have shown that the world would be a better place without them. So, you might be asking yourself: are there any pro's to having kids in 2022? The answer is quite clear: hell no.

On top of this, further research by the Institute of Child Labour concludes children are simply too ignorant and dumb to understand real world adult issues. This in turn means that these little devils would struggle to understand something as simple as cryptocurrency- the already pre-determined messiah of all our socio-economic problems.

In fact, their innate inability to understand complex virtual macroeconomics in turn hurts you. They make mean comments saying "Crypto will never take off, stop being stupid, dad". This in turn is extremely hurtful, and for me, being a father of 12 is demoralising as this is my way of bringing home the dough for our family. So, after years of this consistent abuse I decided that the only cure to this issue is to stop having kids. Case closed.

But is it? Leading expert Casen Beaumont says we need to take this one more step further . "I hate kids." he says. He continues to state to me in a classified interview that we "need to throw them in re-education camps to teach them about the real values of cryptocurrency. I love crypto. Its our future". While this idea might seem taboo to many of our viewers, I honestly agree. Me and my wife Mariah would save oodles of money if we didnt have Jack, Jill, John, Juniper, Jafron, Jayquilis, Johnny, Jethro, Jay, JJ, Jonathan, or Jimmy living in our home. What a genius idea!

Furthermore, you might say "I love kids! I can put up with their dumb nagging about my crypto". Well, you might be irked to learn this isn't the only issue. They constantly berate and defame our precious NFTs, posting pictures of the John Wick skin from the Fortnite series and saying "How much v-bucks for John!!!". Unbelievable how dumb these little gremlins are. How inconsiderate.

All in all, my message to my loyal readers is to sit back and reflect and say to yourself: "My kids are taking advantage of me. I am the crypto master here. I need to send them to a re-education camp, ASAP".

As always, Harrison McBubble signing off, and thank you for reading.